Building my (and your) confidence

I'm not a fan of 'ten point quick fixes' - the 'just do this and your life will change forever' approach does not work for me.  But I do think that it does add value to sometimes hear of read information in a concise, 'bullet style' format.

Something that I think all of us are struggling with every now and then is confidence - being happy with who you are and what you contribute.  It is a good thing to doubt your abilities since that enables you to do introspection - to really think about where you are now and where you would like to be - as long as it's the exception and not the rule.

When it comes to building confidence there are a few pointers that might come in handy:

• Acknowledge your STRENGTHS: This is something you've heard before many times, but 'just do it'!  You have many talents and areas of strength to be grateful for and more importantly, to share with the world.  Think about your unique qualities and gifts and give yourself credit for these.
• Accept your WEAKNESSES:  My friends called me 'miss technical' in varsity seeing that changing a bulb, finding a solution for the computer not working or how to connect the DVD player to the TV was not my area of expertise.  Although I believe that I've much improved on these, they were right - I will definitely not be on their speed dial for any technical related problems to fix.  And you know what, that's fine with me!
• Measure your SUCCESSES:  We so often moan and groan about everything that we haven't done or achieved yet, but very seldom take the time to actually think about where we were a year ago and where we are now - acknowledge and measure the tasks that have been completed and dreams that were realised. If you can't think of anything - identify this as a challenge and work on it (see next bullet).
• Identify CHALLENGES:  You're dreaming about meeting the man of your dreams but only goes to work, the corner shop and then back home.  You might think about expanding your network and social activities to make this dream a reality.  Identify challenges and think about practical solutions to eliminate, avoid or change these challenges into opportunities.
• Be your AUTHENTIC SELF:  Establish your 'personal brand' and stick to it in every situation - easier said than done - but possible, and extremely liberating!  If you don't know who you are spend some quality time in your own company, think about your strengths, weaknesses and most importantly, your value system - the 'set of criteria' that guides and directs your actions and reactions, no matter what life might throw at you.
• SHARE - Kindness is contagious:  Be good to others, not because you're expecting something in return.  The good part is that you most probably will receive something back.  The bonus is that 'feel good' experience of "I'm actually not a bad person, well done me".
• If all else fails - FAKE IT 'till you make it!  Keep your chin up, put a big smile on your face and say "hallo world".  Psychologists say that facial expressions can actually encourage your brain to register a certain emotion.

You know what, you don't necessarily have to love yourself before you can love others, it can actually work the other way round as well.  Read the article on Loving Yourself - How Important Is It? by Mark D. White, PhD (Psychology Today Blogs)

Have a weekend of a bit of introspection, how does that sound?

It's okay to take it easy

At the beginning of the year, as soon as we have set our foot in office, we often feel that we should be ready to roll - being extremely positive, 'psyched up' and enthusiastic about a new year that brings about its own bucket of opportunities and challenges.  And although it's not a bad idea in principle (the 'bang' should start at some point and positivity has never done anyone any harm, right?) I think it is okay to ease into the year.  This means that you (read I) don't have to have a ten point 'how to' plan ready for just about everything - how to get your best body / how to be the happiest you / how to create (and maintain) the best relationship (and don't forget to add the 'ever' to all of these prospects ;-)

I had quite a laugh this morning when I've read Blouwillemaandag's column in Beeld:  "Moet niks radikaals doen wat moeg maak".  It seems as if we share the same view on this matter.  So my advice on a Monday morning?  Do what you should today, live life and embrace this moment - lists and ten point plans can wait until next week (or next month...or next year, for that matter).  What I'm trying to say is if lists and plans help you to organise your life and to create structure - great, but if that mere thought is the reason for you having a blue Monday - don't sweat it.  Rather have a cup of coffee and ease into the week.

All the best!